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One of the things that we learn with experience is that confident people have a tendency to attract others whilst the rest of us seem to vanish into the background. So many of us lack confidence and it’s such a shame as it means we miss out on all sorts of things in our personal and professional lives. Our insecurities can stem from various places and can influence the way people perceive us. You could be mislabeled as unfriendly when really you just shy. I spent most of my childhood years like this. It affected my ability to make friends and stand up to bullies. Luckily, as I grew older and with experience under my belt, I became more equipped to handle these situations.
Here are some tips that will help you boost your confidence:
Don’t Compare Yourself with Others
Some of us have a tendency to compare ourselves with others. Social media really doesn’t help in this respect. How many times have you scrolled down facebook or Instagram and seen something that makes you feel bad about yourself? It could be that others get to go on amazing holidays or go out often to lovely places for meals. The ensuing feelings of depression or envy can be detrimental to our feelings about ourselves. Watch out for this next time you go online and try to stop yourself from being overwhelmed by it all. We’re not competing with each other, with a little work and determination you can get there too, you just need a little motivation.
Be Less Critical of Yourself
We are often far more critical on ourselves than we are with others. Maybe we have impossibly high standards that we never quite reach and this then makes us feel bad about ourselves. This ties in with the previous heading of comparing ourselves with others. Those that have more self-compassion tend to be more motivated and successful. Take a leaf from their book and do the same. Learn from experiences and adapt to prevent them from recurring. Before long, you’ll have defeated your harshes critic and feel so much better about yourself.
Body Concerns
Many of us have body issues. This is exacerbated by the way the media promotes and pushes perfection. It has a knock-on effect and affects our confidence and mental health. Whether you are concerned about your weight, body shape, wrinkles on your forehead, body hair etc. it’s not worth becoming obsessed over them. When we do, we find we become less likely to do things. We reduce eye contact with others so as not to be noticed, avoid going out where we can.
It’s like when you have a spot. You feel like you’ve got Mount Vesuvius growing out of your face. It’s all you see, yet others don’t notice it as much. We often build things up quite often into something far worse than they are. Thinking logically, it’s a spot, it’s not permanent. Pop some Tea Tree and Lavender on it and it’ll be gone in a few days. Our perception of things is different and most times we fret about things unnecessarily. Try to take a step back and see things from a different perspective.
Positive Relationships
It’s important for us all to have a good group of friends that we can confide in. Good friends will support you, build you up, fill you with confidence. On the flip side, we find we sometimes attract people that will knock us down. Quite often this is due to jealousy or their own insecurity. If a good talking too doesn’t work or isn’t an option you’ll find distancing yourself from them beneficial. Surround yourself with good, positive relationships and you’ll find your confidence will grow.
What Are You Good At?
We’re all different. This, therefore, means we will have different things that we are good at. Let’s look at me as an example. I can bake, give awesome cuddles and I’m a fierce friend. Learn to identify what you’re good at, you’ll find they overlap with things you enjoy. Use this to your advantage. If you’re happy you’ll be more confident in yourself.
Fashion
Our fashion choices can influence our mental health and influence our confidence. recently I wrote 10 Ways the Fashion World can Improve Health and Wellbeing which I’m sure you’ll find an interesting and useful read. Fashion can allow us to express ourselves, hide things we are insecure about and more. Let’s use another example here. In the past, I wore glasses. I hated what my mum picked out, her sense of fashion was, in a word “unique”. As I grew older and finally had control of what I could wear I got to experiment with different styles and frames. All of a sudden there was a whole new world of glasses to choose from including rimless glasses to oversized black-framed glasses. The world of glasses was my oyster.
If It’s More Serious
In some cases talking with friends, self-care, etc will not be enough. Here is when you will need to speak with a doctor so you can be referred to someone that can help. You may be assigned to a counselor. They will help you to work through how you feel and help you to build a healthier relationship with yourself.
Do you have any tips that you find useful in helping boost confidence?
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Written by Melanie Edjourian.
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I need to work on not comparing myself to others, especially when it comes to blogging. I can be my worst critic. Great post and very informative.
Thanks Rog. I think we all compare ourselves to others. We need to be less critical though.
Confidence is such a difficult thing to develop, these tips are so helpful though. I feel like confidence is an ongoing project as it can fluctuate so much.
Thank you for sharing, it has certainly been helpful to me, someone who’s confidence is at an all time low x x
It is an ongoing project. Trying a few of these tips at a time will help.
Great blog! In particular, I like the point about being less critical of ourselves, as we tend to sometimes be too harsh on ourselves!!
We sure are. We tend to be our worst critic!
Great post! This is something I definitely need to work on as I really lack confidence and am forever comparing myself and my work to others and in turn feeling like I am not good enough. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking post, I will definitely take it on board!
Take a few of these tips on at a time and you’ll get there. Good luck x
I’m not a very confident person but I enjoy my quiet life, watching from the sidelines.
As someone with low self esteem, I definitely need to implement some of these ideas. Great post.
good luck Beth. I hope these help you.
Some great tips and advice, for me you need to focus on you and not be worried about anyone else, you can boost your own confidence with many of the things that you said, great post.
Thanks Liam. We focus too much on others and the positives in their lives etc. We do need to focus more on ourselves and our development as more confident people.
I’d add learn to focus on others. Listening skills are great to develop and so is meditation and mindfulness to stop that incessant ‘I’m not good enough’ chatter that goes through your head.
For me having a positive romantic relationship has made a huge difference to boost my confidence, having someone tell you nice things about you and your looks is always a nice boost to make you love yourself that little bit more x
That can really make a big difference to our confidence levels.
These are fab tips and I am sure many people have suffered doubts, so tips like this can really help perk you up again for sure xx
Just trying a few of these will make a difference.
Some fantastic tips to boost your confidence. I could really do with trying some of them, I really do lack in confidence.
Thanks Rebecca. I hope this has helped.
It is so hard not to compare ourselves to others, but you are right. We should celebrate the things that we do well
There is always something we’re good at.