(Collaborative post) Living with a disability can be difficult. Our friends and family will be aware of this and will do what they can to help. Those with disabilities are not there to be pitied, they want to be treated with the same respect and consideration as everyone does and not fussed over. In many cases, friends will want to help where they can. But what can they do to help? There are various areas to consider and ways that you can make things a bit easier for them. It might be as simple as helping them make a medical negligence claim if they haven’t received the right care, it may be helping them move a piece of furniture or simply grabbing some shopping once in a while.
I have put together some suggestions that will help you if you are helping a relative or friend living with a disability. When considering their disability, think about how they are restricted. What would make life easier for them around their home or a care home and getting out and about? Let’s look at how you could go about Supporting A Friend Living with a Disability.
Image credit: Unsplash – @elevatebeer
Supporting a Friend with a Disability
Emotional Support
We all need emotional support every so often. Someone to listen, not judge, and if need be, have a good moaning and sympathising session with to help us get things off our mind. This is the same for able-bodied and disabled individuals. If you know they’re feeling down pop over with a bunch of flowers, chocolates, food from their favourite local restaurant. A nice surprise will help turn their frown upside down. Even if that’s brief, it has a positive impact on making them feel valued.
Meeting Up
When arranging to meet up outside of their home make sure that where you choose is easily accessible. Most places will be fine, there may be some instances though that access is restricted so make sure you check in advance. Places like London Zoo, Ham House and Gardens, The Science Museum, Buckingham Palace, The History Museum, Windsor Castle all have easy access and are also great places to visit.
Don’t Assume They Can’t Do Things
You should never assume anything. Don’t presume that they are unable to do things and do them automatically for them. Instead, be sensitive to whether they may need help and gently ask. When arranging trips out with other friends, don’t assume they won’t be able to join in. There are plenty of things individuals that may need a wheelchair or have some other form of disability that restricts them can take part in.
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Image credit: Unsplash – @elevatebeer
Be Respectful
A friend that is in a wheelchair doesn’t want to be looking up at everyone when they are talking. Aside from giving them a pain in the neck and from a psychological aspect make them feel inferior it also emphasises the fact that they are in a wheelchair. Pull up a chair, lower yourself to their level so you can both comfortably talk at eye level.
Help with Errands
Rather than just doing things, offer to help with things that they may struggle to do. Give a general offer to help and see if they need assistance with anything specific. They may have everything covered but the offer to help is always appreciated. Don’t make them feel like anything is an effort or they won’t want to ask for help.
How would you approach supporting a friend with a disability?
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This is such a great post as a parent of a child with a chronic illness, thas has affected her walking as well and being Mum I see a lot more than she does when we are out. Just because they are in a wheelchair does not mean that their can not hear you or need to be talked to like a child
I think it’s all about just listening to their needs and gently approach them, follow their lead. I think it’s probably annoying for them that people presume they can’t do anything x
These are great ideas to stay inclusive with our friends. I tend to inadvertently choose friends who I know have the same things in common, without even asking friends if they want to do something. Such a bad habit for me to assume any of my friends won’t like or be able to do something.
The best thing for us to remember, is to be there and support our friends.. always, in any shape they are..thanks for the reminder.
Great suggestions! It’s important to help whenever and however possible.
This is really helpful advice. I think at times we can worry about saying or doing the wrong thing through kindness so your opinion was helpful to read.
These are all really great tips! As someone who is disabled it is always nice to have people offer help in a nice way. It gets really old really fast when having to keep asking for help over and over because then I feel like burden.
Good suggestions for people who want to help friends or family with disabilities. Think of them as individuals who deserve respect and are treated like a normal human being.
These are great tips! Not everyone knows what to do in situations like these.
Thanks Wren. It’s not always an easy thing to approach. I hope you found the post helpful.
Nice post. It’s important to be there for people in the ways they need, especially if we have the capacity. Lovely@
I agree, where we can help others we should.
A great post and important reminders. Thank you for bringing more attention to this issue!
It’s so important to be there for each other , especially with what’s happened in the world , it has really taught me that
These are such great tips to help include and make friends with disability feel like they are still part of the group. Thank you for sharing these ideas
I like your advice to inquire vs assume. I have a disabled friend who does need help with some things, but not all things!
With most things, it is best not to assume. I learnt that many years ago x
Making sure that events are accessible is really good. I know that some disabled people like being asked to attend events, even if they always say no, which is something I always try to do!
I think it’s easy to forget to ask and just do things for people, but giving them the support to do things for themselves is appreciated much more. They may just do things a little bit different 🙂
It can be and it can have a negative effect. It’s best to ask and see as they may not need help with things you might assume they will.
i like the point about not assuming they can’t do things, I guess from their perspective it’s nice to be asked, and some things that they can’t do they may be able to watch/ cheer x
It’s about giving them respect. If they need help they will ask. We need to be considerate of their feelings x
This is a great post. It is important for everyone to be out there for a friend and show them that we care. Friendship is a beautiful relationship and we need to nurture it like any other relationship.
I agree, friendship is very important. We need to look after our relationships and our friends.
Thats a very well written post. I agree with you. We need to look after our relationship and friends.
It is important and well all need to have good friends we can rely on.
This is such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing these thoughtful insights.
Thanks Sudipta for your comment. Have a great day x
LOVE this! the world is so fast and sometimes we can be self focused, so it is great to give back and help others who maybe struggling xx
Many do get wrapped up in their own worlds, it’s easy to do. We do need to consider others too though.
This is such a great reminder post! It is so simple to take the steps to help but often we forget
The main thing with any friend and any type of disability is to be open and relaxed about things. If you can talk openly and offer each other help as it’s not just a one-way thing then it’s even better for everyone.
I have friends in wheelchairs and also a friend who is lacking a hand. I stopped thinking much about what to do around them. I try to help if I can without saying a word, but we all laugh is I ask for something impossible (like holding a glass for me for my one-handed friend). I think the key is not to think about the visible disability but keep it in mind at the same time (it’s funny but I always ask if the venue has everything wheelchair dependant person needs even if I don’t expect my friend to come, it’s a habit). Surely it’s way harder (for me) with an invisible disability. it’s harder to keep in mind problems you do not see: hearing issues, eye vision problems, possible fatigue etc)
Disabilities whether obvious or invisible can make life difficult. Friends will be aware and also be people you can openly discuss things with and help where they can in areas where you need it most.
I really like the point you make about not making assumptions, but while I’m sure your post is meant with the kindest intentions some of the other points you make do make assumptions and feel quite othering. Yes it’s important to be mindful of people’s needs, but ask don’t assume that someone needs help with errands or a certain type of accessibility. The person you’re taking about is your friend first, not their disability.
Yes, it’s important to not assume. I’m always helping friends and neighbours where I can. You never know who will need help and with what.
These are great tips for everyone. It’s really important that we don’t assume and take time to look it.