Yesterday my youngest daughter started a new activity. We were all sooooooooo excited as her big sister had been going for a little while and wouldn’t miss it for the world and I knew she would love it just as much! When I picked my girls up at the end of their session my youngest was upset and said she didn’t want to go back. After a little questioning I got to the underlying cause of the upset, a bully!
Anyone that knows me will be fully aware I am not a trouble maker or an aggressive individual but my animal instincts kicked in and my blood boiled. Once home, I contacted the individual that runs the activity and filled them in and asked if they could look into the matter and of course make sure it doesn’t happen again. We shall see what happens next week before I consider any further action.
As a parent the last thing I want is to allow my child to be bullied and there are simple approaches to take to help stop your child being bullied:
1. Contact the school, activity provider and explain the situation and get them to assist. If the adults in charge are aware they can intervene and nip it in the bud. It is best to do this in writing too where possible and outline what was said / done to your child so there is a record.
2. It helps to work with the people in charge rather than letting feelings get involved and approach the child or child’s parents.
3. Document everything, important if the bullying persists.
4. Reassure your child that it isn’t their fault it’s normally children that lack confidence that get bullied (in this instance I believe my little girl is the youngest / smallest in the class, knew only her sister in the group and of course was in unfamiliar surroundings).
5. I suggested to my daughter to speak to the teacher if it happens again next week whilst still at her class, not in front of the bully but to wait until their break. Alerting teachers when the bullying occurs is important as they can address it quickly.
6. My husband and I also suggested that my daughter says something when the bully is attacking her. Saying “NO” or “STOP” loudly will make everyone look over to see what is happening drawing focus on the bully highlighting their behavior to all. This of course is only to be done if our little one feels confident in doing so.
7. Be patient. We all want bullying resolved yesterday but sadly this isn’t always possible.
Have your children been bullied? What did you do to the resolve the problem?
Discover more from Melanie's Fab Finds
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Awww bless her cotton socks, hope the bullying gets nipped in the bud before it gets a chance to grow. I am not a parent but when we were little and my brother got bullied I retaliated but that was for another child’s perspective but glad my parents got involved and spoke to the teachers.
My son was bullied when he started secondary school and at one point was suicidal, I have never felt so desperate in my life. I do hope your daughter overcomes this quickly.
It is so important to tell someone, and not just try to let it go.
My nephew was bullied at school because he wears glasses and the school he was at was awful, so my sister moved him and he has grown in confidence, it is amazing to see x
Oh bless! It’s horrible being bullied. I was bullied at school and I really hope neither of my girls have to go through it. You’ve given some great tips there
So sorry to hear she was bullied. I hope the staff intervene as it’s not nice knowing your chid is being upset when they should be having fun xx
My eldest child has been bullied at school and I hated it … Like you my blood boiled. I did phone the school and made an appointment with an individual teacher to address the problems, as it took my son a week to tell us that this was happening. The bullying, unfortunately, carried on so we stepped it up to the next level and made an appointment to see the Head. To cut a long story short, the child doing the bullying was suspended and made to make a public apology to my son. My son was given actions to help deal with the problem should it arise again and also given a safe place to go should it reoccur.
I think your 1st point is really important. If the bullying can be caught early and prevented thats always a huge plus!
Great tips here – sorry your daughter didn’t have a good experience! Hopefully it will be nipped in the bud.
I think your advice is very sound and wise and that your addressing the situation correctly. It’s hard to not get upset when something like this happens. I do hope your daughter doesn’t have to deal with this more in the future.
It must be so hard finding out your child is being bullied 🙁 it is such a shame it does still happen. x
That is horrible to hear that someone was bullying her at the class, young kids can be so cruel. I hope it gets sorted out x
Thanks Rhian, luckily we did get it sorted very fast x
I wrote a post a few weeks ago about bullying and how I think we are too quick to jump to the term bullying – which is a persistent and continual action, not an isolated event of a child being mean to another child, that’s just kids being kids and needs an adult to step up and say that isn’t on for them to learn appropriate social interactions. It diminishes the cases when children are really being bullied – just like this one where it ruins a whole event for another child. I think it’s so sad that the whole event was marred by someone being so unkind to your child, it’s awful and you are totally right with your tips – this is exactly how to handle things, never letting this fester, adults need to be adults and get involved, take an active roll and spot inappropriate behaviour before it becomes bullying, I would be worried about the fact that it was allowed to go as far as you have said. I hope it never happens again, I can’t abide bullying, it’s just rotten.
Bullies are cowards, they usually act with backup in packs. Face the bully, kick the bully’s arse, defend yourself..verbally and calmly and physically if that doesn’t work. They prey on the weak. If you’re a threat in any way they’ll move on. You have nothing to lose, they have their “reputation to lose”. They never want that. 😉
Bullying is sadly very common and not confined to the playground. There are plenty of bullying adults. Well fone of keeping your cool and not going after the bullywith a hatchet. I’m sure the idea crossed your mind!
I wasn’t too happy when I first heard I will admit.
We have had similar and I would suggest exactly what you have done. It is a horrible time for any child and one that is not spoken about enough. Not only do we have to stand up to bullying but I also encourage my children to speak up for children they see being picked on. Thanks for writing such a helpful post!
I was bullied throughout my life and I wish I had someone like you to support me through all the abuse. Bullies are insecure and I am sorry that your daughter has been the target of that fingers crossed it gets resolved!
Great advice, thank you for the post. When my child was bullied I invited the child round for dinner and observed their play so I could see what was going wrong and address unnacceptable behaviour x
I think these are some good strategies. As far as I know my kids didn’t experience bullying but I know it’s very common in schools.
OH how awful 🙁 These are some great tips. My eldest was bullied at school for years, but thankfully everything is sorted now.
Great ways to handle bullying mentioned here. I hope I won’t have to deal with it x
I hope you don’t it’s not fun x
I also had similar things happen when my children were smaller. This advice is fabulous, and I wish I knew it back then!
Sorry to hear that Tanya x
Aww I’m so sorry to hear that your youngest has been bullied. I think getting her to approach the teacher during the break is a good idea because as you say, they can deal with it much quicker. I hope she enjoys the next session and the bully learns his or her lesson!
I was bullied at school and it makes my heart sink to think that it could happen to my children too. Thank you for the tips. I especially liked number 6.x
Some great tips. I was bullied at school as a teenager and I remember the school did next to nothing about it but I think it’s generally taken more seriously these days.
It’s such a shame when bullying happens, I’m glad you found out the root cause and you’re able to help. x
Going to throw the opposite side in here and say that my son has recently been found to be a bully (after having been bullied himself for 3 years). I was mortified. He has aspergers so tend to learn his social behaviour and tendencies from expeience rather than organically. Nonetheless, it’s unacceptable and we need to drive other methods of him ‘building rèlationships’ – which is how he views things when he bullies. Kinda like “well my friend Johnny used to do that with me” – johnny being a bully not a friend. You see What I mean about him not quite seeing things for how they really are. What I will say is that I have called his school 3 times for progress updates since it was raised by his teacher in late March and I am still yet to have a reply. I’m very disappointed that they’re not working with me as much as I’d like to tackle the problem so I feel at a loss. They’re all up for hearing about the bullied (which is fab – obviously!) but not so much in working with the bully. I truly believe the latter should have just as much effort put into as the former. X
It’s a shame some schools really don’t try and help in these situations x
i can’t stand bullies, i think these are such good tips because it’s hard to deal with it when its your child x
I was bullied alot in school. I hated it at the time but now I Look back and its what makes me me now. Glad I didn’t conform to those Bullies in school and be like them.
That’s such a shame to hear that you went through it too. It’s the way we deal with these situations that show what we are made of.
Bullying is so cruel.Both my son and daughter were bullied at school.My son got over it,but my daughter still lacks confidence now in certain situations,though she’s 27,but has learnt to defend herself .
I can scar you for life, bullys don’t realise how badly their actions affect others and many don’t care.